Focal Point(s)

At 12:01 am tonight, I'll be saying goodbye to November 2012. Here are the highlights of my month (in chronical order):

Mom's Surprise Birthday Party

Acquired my own 2013 Starbucks planner

New books

Dip-dyed hair! (Say hello to my good, good friend - Jasper)

Something.

Thank you for being good to me, November. I hope December will be as great, if not better.

Abrupt

The way your hand lingers makes me wish you wouldn't let go.
The way you stare makes me wish that you like what you see.
The way you joke around makes me hope that you feel as comfortable with me as I do with you.
The way that you broke your rule of sleeping early last night makes me hope that it was because you wanted to stay up with me.

But here's the catch - I don't want to fall for you. Unfortunately, it seems as though I already have.

Regrets always come last.

And here I am, regretting that I waited until the very last minute (or day) to study for my subjects. But that's why I deserve my title as master procrastinator. Maybe someday I'll change - but probably not.

Hey look, here I am writing a blogpost and simultaneously procrastinating again! Damn, self. Damn.

And all these little things.

Things don't have to be expensive or complicated for me to be happy. There are just some things that make me feel utterly content though it may only be for awhile. Here's my take on the good things in life:

- The smell of new books.
- Red velvet cupcakes.
- Long hugs.
- Someone saying "You're cute", or something to that extent.
- Little notes.
- Milk tea.
- Laughing with my family.
- Getting it right when a teacher asks you to recite.
- Deep conversations.
- Goofing around with friends.
- When my favorite song plays on the radio.
- When someone pays for my food.
- Lines traced against my back.
- You.

British Invasion

If I won the lotto, the first thing I would do is fly to Europe. I just hope that one day I would be able to set foot in Paris, France or London, England. And this wanting to live in Europe is coupled with a fixation for Europe-themed things. Unfortunately, I don't have enough funds to support my newfound obsession. But Christmas is almost upon us, therefore: hello, friends! *wink

Tab Case

Union Jack shirt

*sidenote: British accents are undeniably sexy, don't you think?

What I Look Forward To

After months of craving for dip-dyed hair, I've finally found the guts (and a salon with awesome dye shades) to do it. Also, one of my UP best friends, Jiggy is having her hair dip-dyed too. Wait for it - next week I'm going to be changed person (pertaining to my hair). *insert squeal

Something to inspire me

Another hairstyle I'm pining for: short, short hair. Boy cut hair. Should I, or should I not?

Another Lamentation

Yep, I've realized that class is officially back in session. Here I am, sitting in a canteen ordering anything cheap to be able to gain access of their free wi-fi to research for History 2. However, by writing this post, it seems that I'm actually procrastinating.

Save me, please.

That Starbucks planner cost me a shitload of money. For a student, I mean. But still. 

I know it was my choice to spend that money to obtain a free planner, so why do I sound like I'm regretting it? I'm not! Well, not really. I do love my planner and think that it was worth it, but I am disheartened by the depletion of the amount of money in my savings.

So since I have the planner already, I solemnly swear to start saving. For a number of reasons, actually. The first is that Christmas is coming around, and I am not that socially awkward as to not have friends to give presents to. The second is that Jiggy, Ela, and I are planning to have a "shopping spree" this December, so I need money to buy myself stuff too. I'm already lusting over the thought of having a new wardrobe. (That sounded stuck up, didn't it?) Lastly, my family and I are going to be going around Iloilo City to give food to street children again as we did last Christmas. For this, everyone has to contribute. Yep, that means not being dependent on our parents' bank accounts.

May the Hunger Games begin. And "Walking Games", if there was ever such a thing.

How to make a day legendary.

November 16, 2012 - a date forever branded onto my list of epic days.

A few things:
1. Breaking Dawn part 2. Albeit the premiere was last Thursday, November 15, I only got to see the movie yesterday. The movie was exciting, kept everyone wondering what was about to happen next, and actually made me hyperventilate a little. Also, it made me and my friends swear a lot. Thank God that scene wasn't what we thought it was. *wink

Yep, this is one of the very few times that the movie is actually better than the book. Of course, I shouldn't forget the fact that it was the first time I watched a movie with my Miag-ao friends. Plus, my best friend Brian tagged along! Therefore, the movie wasn't the only "epic" part of number one - the company was too.

2. Starbucks Planner Acquisition Challenge: Complete. It is what you think it is! I finally finished collecting the whopping seventeen stickers required by Starbucks in order to obtain a free planner. Here's my new baby:

The step-by-step unveiling of le planner.

Thank you for being part of this journey, Ela, Myrell and Brian. In other words, thank you for being bullied into drinking coffee so I could have more stickers! Love you, guys.

3. Sleepover with Macky. This was an official girl sleepover complete with activities such as doing each other's nails and watching chick flicks. Well, one chick flick, but still.

4. "The" smile. Just before I got my Starbucks planner, he flashed me the smile that gets me every single frocking time. And so the feelings have resurrected again. As if they were ever gone in the first place. So I should probably thank him for completing my day. Cue in: blushing.

I need more epic days like these. Everyone does.

Stroll and Splurge.

Wednesdays are my free days. Thank you UP, for making it possible for students to experience a normal weekday completely free of classes.

This Wednesday, I hung out with two of my favorite girls - Jiggy and Ela.

But it wasn't just a "for-fun" hangout. We had to trek all over Iloilo to look for apparatuses that our Chem 16 lab teacher required for us to have by tomorrow. (In other news, there was quite a strong earthquake earlier today but I didn't really feel it. I honestly thought it was just awkward jerking by the vehicle we were riding in. Why am I always so ignorant? Ugh.)

At some point in our "journey" today, we passed by a bookstore whose existence we didn't realize until that moment. And so the universe decided to be kind to us and allowed that bookstore to have copies of Chemistry: The Central Science, which we heard was challenging to look for.

The look of ecstasy.

Of course we had to have our picture taken with our new loves! Or is it wrong to get too excited about owning new textbooks?

That's not really the only thing I splurged on today. Remember my addiction with school-ish stuff? Well, I bought a new pencil case just because it was cute and had two compartments unlike my old one.

And I also bought these cute paper bookmark stickies. I'm giving one pack to Jiggy, because she's the only one as hung up on cute school stuff as I am.

Pertaining to my desire to get ahold of the 2013 Starbucks planner, here's an update... Four new stickers! I drank two frappucinos today to get two stickers, and the other two were obtained through Myrell who was with me earlier today (before I met up with my girls) and Ela, who I forced to buy coffee before she went home.

Three more stickers to go and then I can finally say hello to that beautiful white 2013 Starbucks planner!

The Second Sem Rant

I lack skills in making good schedules. And no, this is not my usual pessimist self talking. This time, I really did do a bad job in making my schedule for the second semester.

First point: Six out of my eight professors are what we students would call terror teachers. Not only are they known for giving out very low grades, but they demand much from their students. Total overhaul in workload. And their flawless grammar in speaking English certainly doesn't help in making them any less intimidating.

Second point: I forgot to give myself a lunch break during Mondays and Thursdays. My classes start at 10 in the morning and end at 5:30 in the afternoon. Let me just stress once more that I have no breaks. None. Not even a five-minute break to grab something to nibble on.

Third point: There is no class day that will let me sleep in. All my classes start at eight in the morning. And I'm not even remotely close to being a morning person! (This is the part where I slap my palm across my forehead.)

But I am thankful for one thing - Manang Sario, a worker in our dorm, has offered to make breakfast for me and some of my friends each morning so that we don't have to be bothered to wake up a lot earlier to grab breakfast in the cafeterias outside or resort to eating cup noodles every morning. What makes it so much better though, is the fact that it would only cost me roughly three hundred pesos per month for those hassle-free breakfasts.

And of course, I have no classes at all during Wednesdays. Maybe this semester won't be so bad after all. *fingers still crossed

Disproving the Equation

We are a theory. It's possible, but both sides need to match to be proven true. But how can we be a match, when you don't feel the same way I do for you?

The Need for Organization

As a person who diagnosed herself with Obsessive Compulsive Disease (I definitely show much symptoms), I make it a point to always have my things organized. Unless of course I am undergoing a moment of duress stress where studying, eating and sleeping are the only things that can fit my twenty four hours. But if life decides to be generous and spares me a few hours for leisure, I would always include the task of arranging my stuff by color or size or with books - by author.

My stuff are not the only things in need of organization, though. My thoughts do too, especially when it comes to school work. With seven subjects, eight if I include PE, I could never be able to remember everything needed for each of those subjects. Which now brings me to the whole point of this post: planners.

Planners allow me to list down everything I need to remember and help me to be at par with my subjects. I can easily organize dates, like when to research for SocSci 2, or when to study for Chem 16. Having a planner also helps me to remember deadlines which is very useful for someone as forgetful as I am. With planners, my thoughts are organized, just the way an OCD likes it. And this is starting to sound like a promotional post now, so I guess I should stop.

Also, let's just say I have a little obsession with planners. For 2012 alone, I have three! Pretty alarming...

This Starbucks planner is my first. And it's also chipped at the bottom right due to overuse.

I first saw this Belle de Jour planner in Saab Magalona's blog. I mentioned that I thought it looked cute, and for Christmas, my friend Anthony Chu gave it to me as a present. Honestly though, it's a little too girly so I've only used it for a month. Sorry, Chu! *blushes

I bought this UP Academic Planner online along with my friends Jiggy and Karla. Though I had two planners already, I still felt the need to buy this because it lists all the important dates for UP and a lot of student guides and tips for us in the university too.

Conclusion: I most probably can't survive school (or life) without a planner now.

*sidenote: I'm still collecting stickers for the 2013 Starbucks planner. I swear it's going to be my only planner this coming year. Eight down, nine to go! Wish me luck on my "Starbucks 2013 Planner Acquisition Challenge".

materiaLISTic

There is an abundance in the amount of material things I'm itching to have right now. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for the amount of money I have in my wallet. However, the mere thought of knowing there's a possibility that I could acquire them someday... keeps me going.

No, I'm not saying that all I care about is owning stuff. I'm just saying that sometimes I'm a normal person too. And we all know normal people have material wants and needs in life as well. I dare you to prove me wrong.

So here's another list (I've been posting a lot of lists, haven't I?), this time a list of the things I'm saving up for.

1. Fujifilm Instax camera. I don't really care about the model or brand or color. I'd just like to have an instant camera that I could take everywhere with me in case something monumental occurs to my uninteresting life.

2. A new pair of Keds. Specifically the black ones with the black soles. It looks bad ass to me. Yes, yes, I know. I lead such a "safe" life (I don't even drink!) that I'm not in any way bad ass. But that's the thing, those shoes might be the only way for me to even be remotely bad ass.

3. Stabilo ExamGrade sharpener. My OCD will never allow me to stop longing for the possession of this beautiful sharpener. Oh please National Bookstore, restock soon!

4. Up All Night (The Souvenir Edition). I am a self-confessed Directioner - no further explanations required.

5. Starbucks 2013 planner. I don't think there are other planners with stark white paper and a very organized layout that would suit my OCD tendencies. The catch is, I've got to collect 17 stickers by drinking 17 cups of coffee to obtain the said planner. A little motivation for myself: I was able to acquire the 2012 planner, why not the 2013 edition?

Progress: 4 stickers down, 13 to go. Someone please help me.

But exactly how long will I be saving up and starving myself to buy all of this?

The Assassination of Stress

Not everyone can afford the luxury of going to the spa everytime stress holds them captive. Obviously, I can't. Fortunately, I've found my alternative in these three: a good book, hot chocolate and music.

And boom.

I told myself I didn't like you anymore. I even dedicated several tweets and a whole blog post claiming that my feelings for you have been rendered null and void. And because I didn't see you for three weeks, I actually believed myself.

Until yesterday, when my gaze held yours for a fraction of a second. Reality slapped me in the face and completely trashed the notion that I had gotten over you. *insert audible sigh

Euphoric Feelings

Why I've been undeniably happy these past few days (in chronic order):

1. New calculator. As soon as I saw that purple Sharp scientific calculator with 272 functions, I immediately fell in love. I didn't care that it cost three-fourths of my weekly allowance, the sense of elation over possessing such a beautiful and useful calculator is worth my starvation.

2. Successful party throwing. My mom celebrated her golden birthday just last Sunday. It has become some sort of tradition for the Lopez clan to throw surprise parties for family members who are turning fifty. We had a surprise breakfast party for her at our house. Thus, she didn't expect another surprise party during dinner at Hamada, her favorite restaurant. And of course it made me happy to see my mom happy! Yes, I know - I'm getting cheesy.

3. Officially enrolled. Walking under the dead heat of the sun to move from place to place only to be greeted by a tremendously long line at your destination - such is the strenuous enrollment process of UP. Spending six hours for that is most probably why as soon as I received my Official Form 5 embellished with the  stamped mark "Enrolled", my happiness reached its peak. Until next semester. Should I graduate on time (crossing my fingers), I still have to undergo six more enrollments.

But that thought is starting to make me depressed again, so I guess I must end this post now. The title is after all, "Euphoric Feelings".

Another thing though - I can't blog as much anymore due to the resuming of classes. And of course, there is also the matter of our dorm having an internet connection with the speed of... a snail.

Rejection is a bitch.

I fear rejecting as much as I fear rejection. You may think there isn't any difference between the two, but oh, there is. Allow me to reiterate: By rejecting I mean saying no to offers, invitations and... people. You probably get what I mean now. Rejection on the other hand, is when I get rejected myself. Mostly in school organizations, positions and friendship circles. Can you imagine what rejection does to my already low self-esteem?

This post is intended to shake me into reality and make me realize that I couldn't and shouldn't put off rejecting someone again. Yes, again. I've gone through the grueling task of telling him no to his apparent feelings towards me thrice now. Unfortunately, he won't take no for an answer.

But I can't give him a yes. Not when studies are my top priority. Not when I don't feel mature enough to be in a relationship yet. Not when I'm still having these unresolved feelings about someone else. And especially not when I just don't feel the same way for him.

Of course, let's not forget how he acts more like a stalker than an admirer.

And also, it's only either you have the feeling or you don't. In this case, I really don't. I'm sorry.

*sidenote: The quote "You either have the feeling or you don't" is from the book Why We Broke Up  by Daniel Handler. It will probably always be one of my favorite novels. And if you haven't read it yet, I recommend that you do so.

Duly Noted

If you've read some of my previous posts, you would be well aware that I have a certain condition (scrutiny or what not) with regards to my school stuff. I've grown tired of having the same notebooks as my classmates or schoolmates. You never know when circumstance might lead you to an unplanned swapping of notebooks. That being said, I decided to have a DIY session with my notebooks. Now I'm ready for second semester (notebook-wise).

Now let me be pretentious and act like I'm a DIY blogger.

What you need:
- Notebooks (obviously)
- Poster paint
- Paint brush
- Pencil & eraser

What you need to do:
Step 1:

Lightly sketch with your pencil the design you want.

Step 2:

Paint your design carefully. Use a narrower brush to help you control your lines.

And, voila or something!

Let me just explain why I chose these designs.

1. The awkward penguin because I am literally it's definition.

2. The Eiffel Tower because it's one of the places I would like to set foot in before I die. And the thought of Paris is just akdhahsd. Yes, no word can accurately describe how I feel for Paris.

3. A bike because I recently finished reading "Along for the Ride" by Sarah Dessen (which had a lot of bike metaphors) and I loved it! Albeit of course I don't actually know how to ride a bike...

4. The Deathly Hallows symbol + "Mischief Managed" + a lightning scar because I am a self-confessed Potterhead. If you are too, then you would understand the significance of those symbols/words.

P.S. Thank you for listening reading my rant for today!

Sincerely, wannabe blogger + artist.

Why I Seem Pregnant

Of course I don't mean that I am actually pregnant. My woes go as far as me having quite a big belly which can be mistaken for as a baby bump. The pictures included in that collage of Instagram photos are just a very minuscule fraction of what I've been consuming. So there goes the possibility of my having a flat stomach.

The Possible List

It's human nature to crave for more than what one has already possessed or achieved. Those excess wants? I wouldn't call them dreams, because then they would be just that, and we all know dreams only occur when we're asleep. I'd like to think of them as possibilities. Possibilities because they could actually happen, (through our own efforts, of course) depending on how much we really want them.

Underneath is my list of possibilities; my bucket list if you prefer. Here's to hoping I achieve most, if not all of them, before I take my last breath.

1. Set foot on at least one country per continent.
    ✓ North America
    _ South America
    _ Europe
    _ Asia (except for the Philippines)
    _ Australia
    _ Africa
    _ Antarctica
2. Spend a day in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
3. Have an instant film camera; polaroid camera.
4. Learn how to ride a bicycle.
    I know, I'm lame for not knowing how to do something as simple as riding a bike.
5. Have a flat stomach. 
    This might be one of the most challenging ones to achieve. *insert audible sigh
6. Spend a whole day watching Disney movies.
7. Have an iPhone 5 or 6 or 7.
    I can dream, can't I?
8. Live in a different country for at least a year.
9. Become a good, worthy-to-read blogger. 
    Trying to work on this one.
10. Attend live concerts by the following artists:
    _ Maroon 5
    _ One Direction
    _ The Script
    _ All Time Low
    _ Hot Chelle Rae
    _ Ed Sheeran
    _ Justin Bieber (You read that right. You may now judge me.)
11. Eat a croissant while on the Eiffel Tower. 
    Doesn't that sound so French?
12. Have a shopping spree in New York.
13. Finish BS Public Health on time.
14. Finish medicine. 
    Hopefully in UP Philippine General Hospital? Fingers will forever be crossed on this one.
15. Meet the right guy... and get married. 
    This is the final thing I want, and the only cheesy thing on the list, mind you. And you can't blame me - doesn't every girl want this?

But there is a question that still looms: What do I have to do to turn these possibilities into realities?