The Gratitude List

2013 had its fair share of blissful and grueling moments, but I would rather leave behind all the pain I've dealt with this year as I try to move on and do better (or at least try to have a better year) in 2014... which is just a few hours from now.

As I am determined to start the new year in a positive light, my last post for 2013 will be about the good side of 2013. This will, I hope, be able to show all those I've mentioned on this list how grateful I am that they've been part of my 2013 - the year I officially became an adult. (Hysterical though, the fact that I'm an "adult". I mean please.)

1.) My parents. Most especially my mother - the most important person in the world to me. I am thankful for the daily sacrifices that they do for me and my brother, for putting us to school, for always thinking of us before themselves, and for supporting us in every way possible. Also, of course, for buying me my material whims. He hehehe hehe ♥

2.) Jiggy Fernandez, Bea Daayata, and Krisleen Mayormita. I don't know if I'll ever be able to show you guys just how thankful I am that you were around during my countless nights (and actually even days) of crying. You claim you do not know how to comfort, but just being there for me is already more than enough. And of course, how would I ever survive Chemistry 17, 28, and 31 + Zoo 10 and 102 if not for you three. Much love, mah main bitchez.

3.) My other roommates, Karla Magsipoc and Anjelou Estrella. We may not be, in a sense, that close, but I am really thankful that both of you listen to my endless rants and give such good advice because you've went through the same shit as well. Thank you for keeping my secrets, Bitch #1 and Bitch #2.

4.) AJ Caspillo, Raye Magalonga, and Val Bebita. To my other three best bitchez in UPV, it's a pity we do not live in the same dorm, because I know I would also be thanking you for the same stuff as the bitchez in number 2. Anyway, thank you for always showing me a good time, for having my back, and for giving the best hugs ever. I don't even want to imagine college life without you.

5.) Eunice Sheene Fulgencio. For the nights I've annoyingly texted you or chatted to you about my petty feelings and problems, I am honestly sorry. I am, however, very much grateful to you for listening (or is it reading) to those rants and never failing to make me feel a lot better afterwards. I hope you never get to feel the same pain that I've felt and am still feeling.

6.) Ruod Ariete and Ennah Tolentino. I know distance is making us drift apart, but I'm still really glad that you guys continue to stick around. Thank you for those supportive text messages and for allowing me to rant to you via text even though you guys were most likely busy with your schoolwork. I really do love you guys. *hugs

7.) PH batchmates! How could I not thank you for all the epic night outs and batch lunches/dinners that never fail to make my day?

8.) My cousins, Ate Nina and Ate Crizza. Thank you for being the big sisters that I've always wanted, and for planning the best birthday that I've ever had. Of course, thank you as well for the numerous insights and advices that you've given me not only for this year but for as long as I could remember.

9.) Everyone I've met in 2013. One way or another, you've been a part of my life. Thank you for that. I do not have the memory to be able to list down each one of you and what you did that made my 2013 better, but perhaps you remember, and so thank you for remembering, along with you simply being in my life. Friends are always something to be thankful for.

10.) Jarem. I am hoping that you would never be able to read this because this would just be another addition to the cheesy things I've told you this year. You, however, cannot be excluded from this list because you were the best part of my 2013. Thank you for coming into my life this year and making me feel loved, as well as giving me the some of the happiest moments yet. Also, I cannot leave out all the good bands and songs you've introduced to me. (Heh.) I've learned so much from being with you, and so again - thank you. For everything. Yep, everything, even the bad times. I wish you well.

And there you have it, my 2013 in a nutshell (or more appropriately, my 2013 in a thank you list). Let's all hope for a good 2014, shall we?

Ew, feelings, ew.

I really didn't deserve all the shit you put me through. You were a lesson. I may not know exactly what life wanted me to learn from the bliss and the pain that I experienced with you, but perhaps someday I will understand why and exactly what role you had to play in my life. But there is nothing else I could and should say except thank you; some of the moments where I have been the happiest was with you, albeit some of the saddest I've been was also because of you.

I am still broken, despite my desperate attempts to be okay. But it will take time to heal, of course, and sooner or later, I will be able to say that I am fine and actually mean it.