I'm spending my summer with Christian Grey.

How pathetic of me to post my summer reading list halfway through the summer vacation. Nontheless, here is the list of books that I fully intend to read and dissect (in other words, overthink) during the summer.

*note: I've compiled this list at the beginning of summer vacation, which will explain why I've already read some of them.
*note to the note: Asterisks will identify the books which I've already read. The number of asterisks determine my rating for them. (Out of five.)

1. The Summer I Turned Pretty - Jenny Han*****
- Absolutely perfect for a summer read, especially if you're into books that make you think "WHY CAN'T THAT HAPPEN TO ME?".
2. It's Not Summer Without You - Jenny Han
3. We'll Always Have Summer - Jenny Han
4. Insurgent - Veronica Roth*****
5. Fifty Shades of Grey - E.L. James***
- Christian Grey absolutely made me melt, but there were too much erotic scenes.
6. Fifty Shades Darker - E.L. James***
7. Fifty Shades Freed - E.L. James
8. The Best of Me - Nicholas Sparks
9. Hidden - P.C. + Kristin Cast
- I can't help but notice how much the "interesting" factor of The House of Night series decreased from it's fifth book, Tempted, which kept me at the edge of my seat. But since I'e already started on the series, I don't want to not be aware of how the story concludes.
10. Requiem - Lauren Oliver****
- The book was packed with feels, and I was utterly consumed. Unfortunately, the ending wasn't to my taste. It still left me hanging, and it was supposedly the conclusion to the trilogy.
11. Reached - Ally Condie
12. Shatter Me - Tahereh Mafi

The list will not end there though. I am in a constant search of well-written books. Suggestions are welcome, and actually begged for. (Please, please, please.)

Day 2: A book that you've read more than three times.

The book that I've read more than three times is The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith. The ironic thing is that I don't even have my own paperback or hardbound copy of the aforementioned novel. I relied on the ever efficient iBooks app from the Apple. As much as I would love to have my own copy, I deem it impractical to spend P300+ for a paperback version as I've already read the book at least five times. I wouldn't turn down anyone who feels generous enough to get me a copy though. *insert highly encouraging smile

The reason why I read and reread this novel is not just because it's readily available on my iPod during periods wherein there is an immense lack of interesting things to do, it's mostly because I fell in love with the story at my first read.

Breaking it down (without spoiling!) - The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight features the role fate plays in the story of Hadley and Oliver. This book underlines the concept that if two people were meant to be together, they will be together, which of course in much harsher terms means: don't force it. Another plus for the novel is it is set in modern-day Europe, and if you've read my blog before, you would be aware of my Europe obsession.

I will now coax you into reading The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by assuring you that if you do so, regret will not be in your vocabulary. It is, after all, my favorite novel. (Or one of them.)

Day 1: The best book you read this year.

Since it's only been four months for the year 2013, and only one out of those four months for me to have time to read books of my choice (meaning not Chemistry or History or Philosophical Thinkers), the selection is quite limited.

Out of the few books that I have been able to read this year, however, I would have to say that Insurgent by Veronica Roth is the best. Of course, compared to the first book in Roth's trilogy, Divergent was a more exciting read in my opinion. But don't get me wrong, Insurgent did not disappoint. The book was packed with twists that I certainly did not expect. (There is a reason why they're called twists, after all.)

I stand by my claim that Divergent > Insurgent, but never commit the mistake of belittling Insurgent - the feels were intense. And if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to read the Divergent trilogy.

Challenge Accepted

Why I'm starting a 30-day challenge on the second to the last day of April is beyond my own understanding, except perhaps for the fact that I am extremely bored during these moments.

I stumbled upon this 30-Day Reading Challenge on Tumblr, and I've decided to "take" the challenge for two reasons: 1.) As I've mentioned, I'm bored and currently have nothing to do and 2.) It will give me motivation to actually blog everyday.

I'll delegate my Day 1 for the next post - blame my OCD. At least I could claim I've blogged (or will blog) thrice for this week already. *wink wink

Self-disappointment

Suckiest - if there was such a word, I would be its epitome. This isn't just another negative post, as you may well expect from me. This claim actually has hard proof this time, in the form of already failing in two aspects of my bucketlist.

Taking into consideration my summer bucketlist, I told myself to stay religious to the HipHop Abs exercise program, but of course, just after a week, I've completely neglected it. I've also sworn to blog at least thrice a week. Congratulations, self! I've managed to blog not even once in the past week.

In my defense, however, I have been quite busy this week. I've started "working" for my mom by encoding all of her patient's files onto her laptop. Although waking up early is certainly not appealing to me, the pay is. At least something has replaced the allowance I receive when classes are in session.

Anyway, I do solemnly swear to try and abide by my own self-promises.

In other news, I'm running out of good books to read. In other other news, I still haven't posted my Summer Reading List. Mentally slapping self.

(The bit pertaining to my "other news" is for you to suggest good books that I should read this summer. Thank you!)

Happy 420! (No Weed Though)

My mom and I arrived in Cebu City at around two in the afternoon today. She had to attend a conference but she dragged me along because she didn't want to be alone in the hotel room. In the short time that I was allowed to dwell in SM City Cebu, my awareness of my having a low resistance for Forever 21 clothes has heightened. From what I've managed to buy today, I've derived that I may be going through a slight grunge phase right now. Of course, thank you to my ever supportive mom who spent her hard-earned money for me. Apparently, this is for my seemingly good grades.

Yep, I am one blessed kid. Thank You, Lord.

You are my obsession(s).

I may or may not have previously mentioned the fact that when I get obsessed, I really do get obsessed. And since I'm already on the topic of my obsessions, it's only fit that I'd share my top three obsessions - milk tea, Cara Delevingne, and dystopian novels.

1. Milk tea:
This is undeniably an obsession, and perhaps a permanent one at that. I fell in love with milk teas at my first taste, and I haven't recovered since. Yes, I am aware that I sound like someone talking about the very confusing and doubtful phenomenon that is love. Coincidentally, that is what I feel for milk teas - love. (And the obsession has now fully kicked in.)

Lesh fact #9172627: The wintermelon milktea with rocksalt and cheese from Sharetea is my favorite so far, followed by the caramel milk tea from Moonleaf and strawberry oreo milk tea from Mang Tsaa.

2. Cara Delevingne:
I've been her admirer since I saw her modelling for the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. My admiration for her has been increasingly fueled by constant Tumblr posts of her that I see on my dashboard. She is not only beautiful and hot (Do I sound lesbian to you? I'm not though, just to make that clear), Cara also has a sense of humor and is BRITISH. Call me biased if you must.

I've been saving her photos (stalker stalker stalker) as I've also developed a strong liking for the way she dresses. She's grungy, and I like that. Okay, I am getting more obsessive by the second. Last obsessive line about Cara - I love that she knows how to ride a skateboard because I really want to learn, and we apparently have the same taste in men as she dated my baby, Harry Styles.

Another Lesh fact: Aside from my obsessive tendencies, I also have quite the knack for "dreaming". Like the issue of me and Harry Styles ever being together.

3. Dystopian novels:
No, my immense love for dystopian novels did not begin with The Hunger Games, although I must admit that I am an avid fan of the said trilogy. My "obsession" with dystopian novels began with the book Legend by Marie Lu. It is a trilogy as well, and I'm hyped for the release of the second book.

I have no idea as to why dystopian novels are now my favorite genre of literature. What I do know is that I have this hidden desire to be a protagonist in a dystopian story, as well as a deep longing to have a relationship bordering on forbidden love in a dystopian world. I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING WEIRD, OKAY.

By the way, in case you aren't aware of the definition of dystopian novels, please feel free to Google search it.

And if you're looking for summer reads, then I highly recommend the following Dystopian trilogies: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Legend by Marie Lu, Divergent by Veronica Roth, Delirium by Lauren Oliver, and Matched by Ally Condie. Again, note that these are all trilogies. Definitely worth spending for, though.

On taking chances.

"What if" is the most haunting phrase I've ever encountered. I've learned the hard way that the chances we miss would bring us more pain and regret than the chances we actually take. And yes, that includes the chances that may have ended badly. The thing is, should a situation lead us to a good or a bad end, we will inevitably learn something from it. In a missed chance, opportunity, moment - we miss the experience, along with the lesson it could've taught us.

The only reason why I'm writing about missed chances is that I've recently learned that I missed out on something that I've been longing for. The moment I knew about that missed opportunity, a dozen "what ifs" began to arise: "What if I told him how I felt?", "What if I didn't let my shyness get the best of me?", "What if we had determined the relationship?", "What if I'd even just told him before he met the other girl?". (The gist of my so-called missed opportunity has probably been defined by those questions now.)

Upon learning that he felt the same way as I did, even for just a short length of time, made me highly regret my decision of not telling him how I felt. Things could've turned out differently - he might've been the Christian Grey or Peeta Mellark or Tobias Eaton that I've been waiting for; it could've been me that he calls every night; there could've been an us.

Now there's nothing I can do except to eat cake and listen to sad music, wallow in my own insecurities, replay our old conversations and moments, and consider and reconsider all my "What ifs". But of course, I should remember that there is a reason for everything, and perhaps it just wasn't written for there to be an us.

If life, however, should decide to lead him back to me one day, I promise to grab the opportunity. If not, then I can sincerely say that he will always be my favorite "What If".

A Bucket(List) of Summer Hopes

There are a number of things I'd like to accomplish before I die, but it seems too ambitious to try to accomplish all of them in the span of one summer vacation. There are, however, a number of things that have a high possibility of being accomplished within this summer. These things will not only deactivate (and hopefully permanently terminate) the immense boredom that I usually encounter during summer breaks, but it would also help me to improve myself. Or perhaps the named deed is simply crazy, spontaneous, or unexpected enough to fit my newfound summer motto: YOLO.

For those of you who may not know what the acronym/expression YOLO means, I would just like to say - exactly under what rock do you dwell and hibernate in? "YOLO" stands for You Only Live Once, which was coined by Drake in his song Motto. That line though, was most likely already in existence decades ago.

Sidetracking from my sidetrack of explaining YOLO (although the expression should really speak for itself), I must plug in that though I may want to accomplish all of the items under this bucketlist, it is assumed that there would be several factors that would hinder me from doing so. Undeniably, one of these factors would be the lack of funds.

Moving on! I've been explaining the details about my bucketlist, but the bucketlist itself has not been identified. Official bucketlist begins in 3, 2, 1-

1. Get wet! (Not through the conventional way, like perhaps swimming in a pool or beach.)
     - Check. The Wet and Wild party for the BK Sem-ender allowed me this
        through ice water fights and hose showers.

2. Commute by myself within the city.
     - Check. I know, how lame is it that I don't commute to get to places 
        within Iloilo City? In my defense, commuting in Iloilo City is much
        more terrifying than commuting to Miag-ao. Since were already on
        the topic of the intensity of my lameness, let me just share that I
        have a fear of commuting. Mostly when I'm alone.
3. Learn how to ride a skateboard or pennyboard or longboard.
4. Learn how to ride a bike. (Yes, another lame fact about me is that I do not know how to ride a bike. What up, I'm so cool.)
5. Die my hair a crazy color. (Dipdye or highlights only, though.)
6. Try any kind of milktea in all of the milktea shops in Iloilo.
7. Learn ten different braids.
8. Follow the HipHop Abs schedule religiously. (Today was Day 1!)
9. Go on a cheap thrills shopping spree somewhere in downtown Iloilo by myself.
10. Learn at least five new piano pieces.
11. Self-learn how to play a guitar.
12. Read all the books on my summer reading list. (Will post that list soon.)
13. Watch all Disney classic movies. (Lamest fact ever: I still haven't seen The Lion King and Pocahontas and Aladdin and Snow White.)
14. Blog at least thrice a week. May the gods of laziness leave me alone.

Crossing all my fingers and toes that I'd get to accomplish all of the items on this list and perhaps even add more.
P.S. Donations are accepted in the form of skateboarding/longboarding and/or biking lessons.

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The Girl Drugs

Chick flicks have always been my remedy for anything that needed to be remedied – a low score on an exam, a bad report, losing something valuable, and of course, heart break. As a hopeless romantic, I’d like to think that these chick flicks have been specifically engineered for those dubbed as the “forever alone” to serve as a reminder that good things will come eventually.

There is no other logical reason for my commenced babbling about chick flicks except that for the first few days of my summer vacation, I have been doing nothing but watch the said genre of movies. (I’ve been marathon-ing some of my favorite TV series as well, though.)

Hence, in correlation to my deep chick flick appreciation, let me share with you a list of the chick flicks that I will never get tired of watching over and over again.

1. A Walk to Remember (Without fail, my eyes would sweat.)
2. Letters to Juliet
3. 27 Dresses
4. Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging
5. Beastly
6. Easy A
7. Life As We Know It
8. Last Song
9. The Amazing Spiderman (Not exactly a chick flick, but Emma x Andrew!)
10. The Art of Getting By
11. The Hunger Games (Again, not exactly another chick flick. But.)
12. 50 First Dates
13. The Ugly Truth
14. Mean Girls
15. LOL
16. Monte Carlo
17. Serendipity
18. Wild Child
19. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
20. Never Let Me Go
21. Valentine’s Day
22. Pretty Woman
23. Titanic
24. The Step Up series
25. I Am Number Four (Basically, if Alex Pettyfer stars in it, then.)
26. When In Rome
27. You Again
28. Bride Wars
29. White Chicks
30. The Hot Chick

There are probably a lot more chick flicks that I’ve fallen in love with, but their titles may have evaded my mind at the moment. Setting that aside though, the movies I’ve mentioned above are must-sees as they will give you the “I wish that would happen to me” feeling that everyone looks for in chick flicks. And yes, that means I highly urge you to watch those movies especially if you lack your own love life to fuss over. Like me.

But if there’s one thing I learned from the excessive amount of chick flicks that I have gone through, it’s that love should not be systematic or mechanical; it should not be bulleted and intricately planned and devised. Thus, worry not about the present absence of a so-called “love life”, it will come in due time.

(Spoken like a true awkward-forever-alone-hopeless-romantic-penguin.)

Hell-o

And so it seems I have undergone another non-blogging phase. Despite my desire to brazenly express my feelings and innermost thoughts to the (cyber) public, I’ve found that time constantly evades me.

In the span of the apparent non-blogging phase, there have actually been significant events that merit proper blog post(s) recognition. The intensity of their significance is as such that they do not deserve to simply be in another “catching up” post, as they are due individual, detailed posts. Yes, coupled with poetic-ish feels and commentaries.

As I've explained in my previous post, my blogging (or lack thereof) is due to the excessive amount of workload that The University of the Philippines has so generously bestowed upon me. I shouldn’t have even hoped for otherwise, given the non-existence of the term “Hell Week” in UP, as each week poses it’s own challenges. It is important to note, however, that even though all weeks would be a subtler version of The Hunger Games, there are some weeks whose levels of hell surpass most.

In reference to Greek mythology, Tartarus came in the form of my last two weeks as a freshman. I’m still not quite sure how I survived a research paper, an anti-thesis, a documentary, a “masterpiece”, a presentation, several long exams, and four final exams in those two weeks. Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve returned from the battle in crisp condition. I have become a heap more psychotic than I used to be. Deemed incurable, in fact.

Though I may have submitted and complied with all of the requirements, I have absolutely no assurance that my “hard work” will reap rewards. But there’s no use worrying and overthinking, the (immensely straining) deeds have already been done.

May Athena bless my soul. And my General Weighted Average.

P.S. Good luck incoming Iskos and Iskas ng Bayan. Say hell-o to UP.