Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Drowning

In every storm there is bound to be a silver lining, just as in every silver lining, there is (or had been) a storm. What I've learned in my eighteen years of existence is that nothing is ever completely good and nothing is ever completely bad. There have been numerous times when I've felt that the bad outweighs the good, when I neglect the good because they seem to have been trumped by every bad, sad, mad feeling in the world. But that's the thing - no matter how tough things may seem sometimes, you have to keep holding on; to keep fighting for what little good there may be. After all, in letting go of the bad, you will also inevitably let go of the good that comes with it.

And I can't. I can't let you go. Even if it means that I have to shed tears more often than I'd like to. Even if it means I have to suck up my insecurities and put my faith in what you say; in you. Even if it means that I have to deal with all the pain that comes in a package-deal with the wonderfulness that is you. (Cue in sarcastic "well that escalated quickly" coupled with necessary eyeball rolling.)

Because nothing is ever completely bad and nothing is ever completely good. You give me both, and I want both. No matter how overwhelming the storm may seem sometimes - in a sense that I feel as though I am drowning - the silver lining in you, in us, is worth the temporary struggle.

You are still, and will perhaps always be, my lifesaver.

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