The Gratitude List

2013 had its fair share of blissful and grueling moments, but I would rather leave behind all the pain I've dealt with this year as I try to move on and do better (or at least try to have a better year) in 2014... which is just a few hours from now.

As I am determined to start the new year in a positive light, my last post for 2013 will be about the good side of 2013. This will, I hope, be able to show all those I've mentioned on this list how grateful I am that they've been part of my 2013 - the year I officially became an adult. (Hysterical though, the fact that I'm an "adult". I mean please.)

1.) My parents. Most especially my mother - the most important person in the world to me. I am thankful for the daily sacrifices that they do for me and my brother, for putting us to school, for always thinking of us before themselves, and for supporting us in every way possible. Also, of course, for buying me my material whims. He hehehe hehe ♥

2.) Jiggy Fernandez, Bea Daayata, and Krisleen Mayormita. I don't know if I'll ever be able to show you guys just how thankful I am that you were around during my countless nights (and actually even days) of crying. You claim you do not know how to comfort, but just being there for me is already more than enough. And of course, how would I ever survive Chemistry 17, 28, and 31 + Zoo 10 and 102 if not for you three. Much love, mah main bitchez.

3.) My other roommates, Karla Magsipoc and Anjelou Estrella. We may not be, in a sense, that close, but I am really thankful that both of you listen to my endless rants and give such good advice because you've went through the same shit as well. Thank you for keeping my secrets, Bitch #1 and Bitch #2.

4.) AJ Caspillo, Raye Magalonga, and Val Bebita. To my other three best bitchez in UPV, it's a pity we do not live in the same dorm, because I know I would also be thanking you for the same stuff as the bitchez in number 2. Anyway, thank you for always showing me a good time, for having my back, and for giving the best hugs ever. I don't even want to imagine college life without you.

5.) Eunice Sheene Fulgencio. For the nights I've annoyingly texted you or chatted to you about my petty feelings and problems, I am honestly sorry. I am, however, very much grateful to you for listening (or is it reading) to those rants and never failing to make me feel a lot better afterwards. I hope you never get to feel the same pain that I've felt and am still feeling.

6.) Ruod Ariete and Ennah Tolentino. I know distance is making us drift apart, but I'm still really glad that you guys continue to stick around. Thank you for those supportive text messages and for allowing me to rant to you via text even though you guys were most likely busy with your schoolwork. I really do love you guys. *hugs

7.) PH batchmates! How could I not thank you for all the epic night outs and batch lunches/dinners that never fail to make my day?

8.) My cousins, Ate Nina and Ate Crizza. Thank you for being the big sisters that I've always wanted, and for planning the best birthday that I've ever had. Of course, thank you as well for the numerous insights and advices that you've given me not only for this year but for as long as I could remember.

9.) Everyone I've met in 2013. One way or another, you've been a part of my life. Thank you for that. I do not have the memory to be able to list down each one of you and what you did that made my 2013 better, but perhaps you remember, and so thank you for remembering, along with you simply being in my life. Friends are always something to be thankful for.

10.) Jarem. I am hoping that you would never be able to read this because this would just be another addition to the cheesy things I've told you this year. You, however, cannot be excluded from this list because you were the best part of my 2013. Thank you for coming into my life this year and making me feel loved, as well as giving me the some of the happiest moments yet. Also, I cannot leave out all the good bands and songs you've introduced to me. (Heh.) I've learned so much from being with you, and so again - thank you. For everything. Yep, everything, even the bad times. I wish you well.

And there you have it, my 2013 in a nutshell (or more appropriately, my 2013 in a thank you list). Let's all hope for a good 2014, shall we?

Ew, feelings, ew.

I really didn't deserve all the shit you put me through. You were a lesson. I may not know exactly what life wanted me to learn from the bliss and the pain that I experienced with you, but perhaps someday I will understand why and exactly what role you had to play in my life. But there is nothing else I could and should say except thank you; some of the moments where I have been the happiest was with you, albeit some of the saddest I've been was also because of you.

I am still broken, despite my desperate attempts to be okay. But it will take time to heal, of course, and sooner or later, I will be able to say that I am fine and actually mean it.

Homebody Survival Kit

With super typhoon Yolanda looming over us, it is the wiser option to simply stay indoors. If you're not one for just staying at home and enjoying the confines of your own room, it's probably my job to advise you on what to do to keep yourself entertained. This is, of course, because I am a veteran stay-at-home kind of person.

Before any violent reactions, I am not actually going to "advise" you, rather just share with you what I do at home that makes me not want to leave the house at all. It might help your situation of not being able to leave your own house in preparation for the impending storm.

1. Read a book. Reading books will allow you to travel to different places for awhile (while you can't yourself); it will allow you to live an adventure with the words that you devour. Personally, I'm rereading my favorite novel - Why We Broke Up, penned by Daniel Handler. If you haven't read it yet, you should, along with The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan. They're both easy reads which would definitely help you pass time.

2. Have a movie marathon. In your favorite genre, preferrably. And if you're into chickflicks, let me just plug in my favorite chickflicks that YOU SHOULD SEE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM YET: Stuck in Love, This Means War, 50 First Dates, Leap Year, and Just My Luck. (Two Chris Pine movies because Chris frigging Pine!!!)

3. Have a series marathon. Not all that different from the second one, but with the free time cast upon you, it is definitely a good time to catch up on your favorite TV series or maybe begin watching one you've been meaning to. *cough* New Girl *cough*

4. Take long naps. School sucks the life out of you. And it steals your time for naps. "Nap when you can" - that's the motto. NWYC is not as catchy as YOLO, of course, but who would really refuse a good nap?

5. 8Tracks. If you haven't discovered this wonderful, wonderful music version of Narnia yet, then you'll be thanking me. This website gives you access to free playlists made by people all around the world, and there will surely be tons of playlists to suit your taste. I never regret spending time on the site as it is there that I've stumbled upon some of the best songs ever written. Go on, child, 8Tracks awaits.

Drowning

In every storm there is bound to be a silver lining, just as in every silver lining, there is (or had been) a storm. What I've learned in my eighteen years of existence is that nothing is ever completely good and nothing is ever completely bad. There have been numerous times when I've felt that the bad outweighs the good, when I neglect the good because they seem to have been trumped by every bad, sad, mad feeling in the world. But that's the thing - no matter how tough things may seem sometimes, you have to keep holding on; to keep fighting for what little good there may be. After all, in letting go of the bad, you will also inevitably let go of the good that comes with it.

And I can't. I can't let you go. Even if it means that I have to shed tears more often than I'd like to. Even if it means I have to suck up my insecurities and put my faith in what you say; in you. Even if it means that I have to deal with all the pain that comes in a package-deal with the wonderfulness that is you. (Cue in sarcastic "well that escalated quickly" coupled with necessary eyeball rolling.)

Because nothing is ever completely bad and nothing is ever completely good. You give me both, and I want both. No matter how overwhelming the storm may seem sometimes - in a sense that I feel as though I am drowning - the silver lining in you, in us, is worth the temporary struggle.

You are still, and will perhaps always be, my lifesaver.

The cheapest debut gift ever, but.

First of all, I know you don't like compliments, so this should serve as my apology for the string of compliments I'm about to give you.

Hey Eunice Sheene, we haven't been together much at all, perhaps even if we count the hours we spent together in last sem's Aqua Sci 16, Comm 2, and Soc Sci 2 classes, but I am undeniably closer to you than my actual classmates; fellow Clovers. It's not that I have anything against them, it's that you have "something".

Let me talk about that something - I think I first saw you as we were lining up to pay tuition for the second sem of our first year in college, and I remember how I couldn't stop staring at you because I found you incredibly pretty. (First compliment. Oops.) Then, for some reason, you were my classmate in all of my GE subjects save for one. That, thankfully, gave me a legit reason to talk to you without seeming creepy. Although I am aware that I am giving off the stalker/lesbian vibes right now. Smooth moves, Lesh.

Anyway, pressing fast forward to summer: I will forever be grateful to Twitter that it allowed me to get to know you and actually become your friend. And at the risk of sounding creepy again, I was glad to find out that we had a lot in common, like attraction to good grammar and taste in music and favorite movies. And of course, let's not leave out another really great thing you and Twitter did for me... my *cough* love life *cough*.

Finally, I'd like to thank you for always being there to listen to my insecure rants, and that you trust me enough to tell me your own secrets. (JUST KNOW, FUTURE ADMIRERS OF EUNICE, THAT IF YOU EVER SO MUCH AS LET HER SHED ONE TEAR, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.)

I don't know where I'm going with this post anymore though, but you should know that I'm extremely lucky to have someone like you in my life - beautiful, strong, intelligent, talented, and awkward. (Heh, awkward. Also, there's that string of compliments I'm apologizing for.) Since you're already too much a part of my life, I hope you never leave. I channelled creepy vibes again, didn't I. Anyway.

Happy legality, "Mom"! I love you a lot. And I'm always a text away. 

The summer curtain draws.

The first day of my sophomore year in college begins tomorrow, and that, of course, implies the end of my summer vacation as well. Despite the fact that my day started off on the wrong foot (parents giving me a mouthful for another thing I've done to tick them off, apparently), June 9 progressed into one of the best days of my 2013 summer.

In a moment of utter spontaneity, one of my really good UP friends - Jarem, suggested that we pig out in Jollibee. By coincidence, my cousin was set to attend a birthday party in the General Luna branch of Jollibee; things aligned and I got to spend time with one of the coolest people I know while eating some of the best fast food according to my palette. (The company was the best part, duh.)

At around six pm, my mother took me and my cousin to Skinetics for a spa session. It may be too soon to say this, but I have probably completely and irrevocably fallen in love with their jacuzzi and the bubbles and the rose petals and the warm water and you must get it by now. The spa was immensely relaxing; a highly appreciated treat in the face of the impending doom that is sophomore year of college.

Finally, we ended our day with dinner in Ohana. Ohana may not be as good as my favorite Japanese restaurant, Karate Kid, but it was still Japanese food, and I am undeniably a sucker for Japanese food.

Conclusion: Final day of summer - well-spent.

Day 12, 13 and 14.

Now's your cue to applaud my procrastination, and my determination to make up for it through a jammed post. Sorry for putting off the book challenge, I just wasn't into the writing mood as of late.

Day 12: A book you used to love but don't anymore.

Honestly, it isn't a single book that I've come to unlove, but a whole series - The Twilight Saga. I'm not saying that Stephenie Meyer sucks (pun intended), because she is undeniably an epic writer. The way she molds words to perfectly capture the pictures she forms in her head is amazing. The reason why I don't "love" the Twilight Saga anymore is the same reason why my thirteen-year old self fell in love with it in the first place - the romance. I may be a self-confessed hopeless romantic, but I've realized that the Twilight Saga takes sappy to a whole new level, and it is not endearing. Meyer's The Host is still one of my favorite novels, but the novels about the unbelievable Edward-Bella romance isn't anymore.

Day 13: Your favorite writer.

I cannot narrow down the best authors to just one, so I'd have to say that my favorite writers are Jenny Han, John Green, David Levithan, Sarah Dessen, and of course, J.K. Rowling.

Day 14: Book from your favorite writer(s).

The Belly Conklin trilogy for Han, The Fault in our Stars for Green, The Lover's Dictionary + Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist for Levithan, The Truth About Forever + Along for the Ride for Dessen, and THE WHOLE HARRY POTTER SERIES for J.K. Rowling, duh.