Melancholy has been my companion as of late. It has gotten so acquainted with me that the depression it’s giving me can’t be fixed with milk tea and red velvet cupcakes. I know because I tried ate.
This depression digs deep, so much to the point that I’ve been crying a lot lately. To support this, I’ll give a lone situation: I cried to one of my best friends in college because I thought that I was the subject of one of his blog posts, which had very demeaning words. Paranoia and pessimism – check!
For now, I have no willpower to put into words the root of all this misery and frustration I’ve been feeling.
So pertaining to this post’s title, here is a list of songs I’ve kept on listening to for the past few weeks. I didn’t know just how accurate some lyrics could define one’s life. In this case, of course, my life.
When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?
I never feel I'm quite enough.
And you could crush me, but please don't crush me 'cause baby, I'm a dreamer for sure.
A handful of moments, I wish I could change.
Wondering if I really tried everything I could, not knowing if I should try a little harder.
I'm losing the best of me; dressed up as myself to live in the shadow of who I'm supposed to be.
What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know anymore.
And lastly, my anthem for the moment:
I'll never be good enough, you make me wanna die.
*side note: No, this does not mean I'm emo, or suicidal. I could never bring myself to end my own life. I'm just currently very depressed and frustrated with my life. But I can cope. God never gives you problems you can't handle, right?
*side note of the side note: Yes, I'm a Catholic.
Sorry for a bunch of sad feelings all merged in one late night, bored wannabe blogger post.
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